Hillsboro, Oregon

It’s been a while since I updated my blog. But today a friend of mine asked me about my blog, and I guess I should start to do it again, at least once a month.
Nowadays it feels like I am living a fast forward life, everything is moving so fast, can’t imagine it is April already. Two more months and it is mid year. And in less then a year I will be reaching my mid life, oh gosh what have I accomplished so far, almost nothing. Still living the same old routine everyday. I am thinking mainly due to afraid of getting out of my comfort zone. I learnt over the weekend that if you are stil comfortable, then you are still in your comfort zone. But I think it is very scary to feel uncomfortable all the time. It’s like having a small stone in your shoe but you can not take them out and have to walk aroud with it. Maybe my understanding of uncomfortable is completely twisted. Oh well, enjoy my comfort for now, I think all this comfort is going away soon, and will be replace by something even better. ha ha ha

Most of you know the story about David and Goliath right? If not, got read your Samuel again. We know David K.O. Goliath with a small stone. Ever wonder why David collected 5 stones before the fight? Not enough faith that he didn’t believe God would help him KO goliath with 1 stone? Or David was merely being prepared?

I think David was only being prepared. He knew God would deliver Goliath to him. He knew Goliath would go down with one shot. But the problem was firing that only shot. Grabbing a stone inside a sheperd bag filled with only one stone is much harder than grabbing one from a bag of five. Also if he dropped the stone while getting ready to fire the shot, he got four more

David need to KO goliath with one shot. So he knew God would deliver goliath to him with one shot. Goliath was big, but he was not stupid. If the first shot did not hit an unprotected and deadly target, there would be no opening for unprotected and deadly target until David ran out of shots. Just imagine, if someone approached you, pulled out his revolver with 6 bullets, fired at you and miss the first one you would hide somewhere until he fired 5 more shots. Then you would run for your life or you would be charging ar him with a brick. I know I would run for my life after the sixth shot. So if David slinged the first stone and hit goliath on his tummy for example, then I think Goliath would cover his face and charged David and make David into a satay. The sling was David element of surprise. Goliath did not know about the sling, remember he asked David why he go to the fight with a staff eventhough he is not a dog.
The lesson I think we need to learn is do my part and God will do miracle in my life. Prepare your five stones, instead of being lazy and just get one. Many times i use faith as an excuse for my lazyness. It is much more difficult go to under water to collect 5 stones than to collect just one. I will keep reminding myself that God does not like lazy people. So if it is something that I can do God will not interfere. I can send in my resumes, and God will miraclously provide the job. I can pray earnestly for something impossible and God will provide the answer. Have a Blessed first week of April.
- posted by bill @ 6:30 AM (4) comments

 
Hillsboro, Oregon

I like to eat meat, but I am not obsessed with it. I like vegetable as much, I like my mom special eggplants, where she cooks it with dried shrimp with sambal…ohh…just heavenly. I like my mom acar, pickled cucumber and carrot with peanut and kunyit, oh yummy. But recently I craved meat so bad that I dreamt about eating steaks, ohh tender and juicy fillet mignon cook medium well. Enough about this crazy thought, I am afraid if I linger to much on this, I will have another steak dream.

I watched the movie “without a paddle” recently. quite funny, but towards the end there is this quote “if you lost all your money and are broke, you probably can work hard and could earn those money back. But if you lose your time, you will not be able to do anything to earn that back…” Quite a serious quote for a wacky comedy huh. And today I read James 4:17 “"To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin" (4:17). Now if I put the time factor in this verse, it is very me. I am a big procastinator. Many times, I know I need to do something, but always put it later. I like to joke by saying, God created the last minute so I can use it. So I try to do everything the last minute.

Many times, we plan something great, but then for one reason or another we put it into background, and slowly it stars to fade away. We plan to evangelize, but fear takes over and decided it is probably not the right time. We plan to send Happy Chinese New Year card to our parents but it is only a week away and the card s still sitting blank on your desk or even worst, youhave not even buy the card. We plan to tell someone we care how much they meant for us, but feels it is to awkward and decided that what is in your heart is most important. I think the verse in James 4:17 is very strong. Basically by procastinating we are sinning. So I should stop hiding and should just go out and break a leg.

Have a blessed Tuesday, and I thank God for His favor upon my life.

- posted by bill @ 6:38 AM (0) comments

 
Beaverton, Oregon

I tried eating just instant noodle for a couple of days and I don’ think I will be able to survive for 30 yrs with just instant noodle. So I should reconsider about retiring early. Hmmm…they should make a healthier and more filling instant noodle. Hey how about that for a business idea? Maybe I can create those instant noodles and convince people to retire early, and my instant noodle should be selling like hot cakes, or I should say selling like instant noodle. Well enough about this wild early retirement idea.

I believe I am human, and sometimes human do feel like neglected. I got a story…and here it is…

On a chilly Christmas morning…

A King…woke up early…quickly He grabs a teddy bear he bought especially for her lil daughter. He is so excited to see her face when she will receive the teddy bear. It is not just any teddy bear, it is the one that is the best selling right now, and you can not find this teddy bear anywhere, not at Wallmart, not at Toys ‘R us. The King got it because He is special, so a special order teddy bear just for His lil daughter.

The princess woke up early that morning, excited to see what she is going to get from her dad. Deep inside her heart she wish for the teddy bear, the teddy bear that everybody is talking about. Ohhh, I am going to be soooo cool with this teddy bear. Everybody cool has this teddy bear….she said to herself. “I Loveeeeeeee youuuuuuu Dadddyyyyyyyyyyyy” can be heard throughout the palace corridors.

Princess is sooooooo happy with the bear, she plays with it every single day. She tuck the bear to sleep every night, she has tea with the bear every afternoon at the tranquility garden, she created a nice lil cave for the bear to hibernate. Practically there is no one day that she is apart from it. However, soon the bear is no longer “IN”. People move on to a cooler toy, a kid robot, a super hero action figures, incredibles, tickle me elmo, ipod, and teddy is no longer desired.

Now teddy is just sitting on a shelf somewhere collecting dust. Its clean white has now become off-white with grayish patches here and there. Every now and then when the princess walk by, it would try to look cute and cuddle wishing for the princess to pick it up one more time. It would yell to attract attention, sometimes it would even cry. But all those efforts to no avail.

One day, the bear sad face attracted the princess, the bear was soooo excited, and it started jumping up and down, unfortunately that causes the dust to fly off and the princess started to cough. She threw the bear down and walk away. The bear started to cry…it is all my fault. Now she hates me even more.

Devastated, the bear is no longer cute and cuddly. Now the bear look pitiful, sad, and ugly. The bear just sit there at the corner with its long face collecting even more dust…until one day. The King picks it up and said..My dear lil bear, why do you look so sad?” The bear just speechless and started to cry. The King smiles and gives the bear a hug. Listen my dear. You are still special for me, and you always have a spot in my heart. You see when I ordered you, I put a rock inside you, and now look inside and you no longer find a rock, but a big diamond instead. All those pain has turn the rock into a diamond. You are priceless to me. (a diamond polisher in a form of a teddy bear is priceless isn’t it :P)

- posted by bill @ 10:41 AM (0) comments

 
Hillsboro, Oregon

Gosh…I am soo drained mentally and physically. I don’t know if I still have what it takes to be an engineer :P But thank God it is Friday, well at least it is Friday for me. Maybe I should forget about work and just go to retirement early, hey retirement in the late twenties sound great isn’t it. I think I can go to retirement, if I just eat instant noodle everyday and stay with my parents…ha ha ha…what a lazy guy huh. I just did a quick calculation, I just need about $16,500 to eat instant noodle everyday for 30 yrs, it might even be cheaper considering I might not have 30 yrs if I eat instant noodle everyday. Well hopefully instant noodle will still cost about half a dollar 30 yrs from now. And hey if I got free lunch at church every Sunday, and bring home the left over, I just just save a couple of packs of instant noodle a week :P and with that dollar I can afford a dozen of eggs that should make my “quai su mien” (a.k.a. instant noodle) even tastier. ha ha ha, don’t mind my crazy thought, just a way for me to relax my drained body and mind.

Eric told me about free skiing at Mt Bachelors with 3 cans of food. I think I will have to pass on that, I am so drained right now that I just wanna relax and recharge. Don’t want to bust my behind, especially it is a 6 hrs drive and my wekend will be over by the time I get back and next week work week gonna be berry berry long.

Just learnt about smelt fish dipping recently. Unfortunately it is only open for Tuesday and Saturday. Should be very interesting if I can go to one. You don’t need any license and each person can bring as much as 10 lbs of those yummy lil fish. They said once the weather warms up a bit, those fish should swim up stream. If it is warm this Saturday, maybe I will try to get a group of people to go.

Hmmm…I have listen to many sermons and read a few books that taught us to always think positive. But sometimes it is definitely soooooo very dificult to think positive. I like an illustration a friend of mine told me last year, she said, if you fall down and hurt yourself, it will certainly hurt, and it takes time to heal. I think this is soo true, if you just got hurt, it will take time to heal, don’t get pressured to mask those pain by people who suggest to think positive. Vent all your pain, cry like you never cried before, scream yourself out, if you feel like kicking, find something soft to kick otherwise you might get hurt even more. If you have someone you can share anything about (you know those friends you even share what color of undergarment you are wearing), share it with them, because it definitely helps to have a listening ear. And once you are done, raised up and God has prepared a new crown for you.

I think God permit mourning, that’s why we have emotion, that’s why we can cry and smile. We all know Samul is the one that annointed Saul to be King, basically Samuel is Saul’s mentor. So when Saul lost the favor of God, Samuel must be very sad. Just think yourself as a pastor who slowly groomed someone then suddenly that someone turn his/her back away from God, must be very painful. God allow Samuel to mourn and then He said to Samuel, how long are you going to mourn for Saul? So it is ok to mourn or sad, just don’t linger in it too long, because God can not give you a crown while you are sitting among your ashes. I got this message from Joel in one of his sermon.
Well I am going to end my entry here. I need to search for instant noodle supplier that are willing to supply me with instant noodle for 30 yrs. Maybe I should buy an option for instant noodle to gurantee a reasonable price. Oh well, this might be my last entry for January 2005. Man time just fly by, just feel like yesterday when I celebrated new year. If time flies like this, might feel like tomorrow when I am going into retirement :P

- posted by bill @ 3:33 AM (0) comments

 
Hillsboro, Oregon

Waaa…it’s been a month since I make an entry. Last time I make an entry I went skiing, now I make an entry I just went skiing again, and almost broke my neck. I ended up with stiff neck for a couple of day. Could hardly bend my head.

The snow was great but, I am not enjoying it very much. Had too many painful crashes. I guess it is dangerous to ski when your mind is somewhere else.

I am quite happy today. I Love my roomate. He cleaned the living room, I was so happy when I went home last night. He is the best. I guess discipline is contagious. After I spent a few days this week cleaning the kitchen and the stove, he got moved to clean the living room. Now our apt look a lil bit more decent as a living place…ha ha ha.

Next cleaning project is to wash my car, tidy up kitchen cabinets, and laundry. Gosh the cycle will never stop. When that is all done, I need to clean my room again, then my bathroom, then the kitchen again…why does entropy always have to increase. Why randomness always have to increase? It’s all the creative creation of God. If entropy always decrease, then we will be in trouble. We will walk a long fine, and then suddenly choke to death, because on a section of the atmosphere, there was no oxygen, the oxygen all aggregates together on a section, and the nitrogen aggregates on the other section.

BTW entrophy I think is the meassure of randomness, by nature entrophy always increase. Unless we put energy try to lower the entrophy. So by nature, my room will get more and more untidy. Unless I put energy to tidy them up.

Thought of this week…I am going to set my hope high.
So long and have a great Tuesday.

- posted by bill @ 5:05 AM (0) comments

 
Hillsboro, Oregon

"What can mankind do in the midst of such reckless selfishness?" --> what a cool phrase.
I first found it somewhere I do not remember, the quote was used to reflect the frustration against hate crime. It goes like this "What can mankind do in the midst of such reckless hatred?".
Now I like this phrase so much that I used it all the times to pity myself...ha ha ha...
This weekend, I have a blast snowboarding. The snow was not great, but the crowd was great, there was none. The line at the ski lift was less than 5 minutes.
On my last run of the day, I gave it all I have, I tried to do many jumps, I made 100% of the landing...on my behinds. Now I am all bruised up and it hurts when I sit....grrrrrrrrrr...Eric thanks for encouraging me to do all those dangerous (read stupid) stun.
But all this pain and bruises have their narcotics effect, I am ready for more. I need to squeeze as much run this season as possible, as this might be my last season to have such an accesible slope.
And timberline...you guys are one greedy corp, "what can mankind do in the midst of such reckless greed?" Can't believe they charge $34 for skiing on rocks fields. And go Meadows, you guys are the best.

Despite all this fun, I felt being pinned between a rock and a very hard surface many times. Try to prevent broken bones and people call me a jerk. Try to provide transport and people call me stingy. Try to arrange transport and people call me nossy. I guess I am a nossy stingy jerk...ha ha ha...what a cruel nick. I think grace is a much better nick, serving without expecting anything in return. Has this ever cross your mind, that gratis is derived from grace?

Talking about grace, I will list the stuff I want next year and I will pray for them that I can received them by grace.

1. To sell my most valuable belongings at a good rate.
2. QQQ double, S&P double.
3. Owned a field to sow.
4. A visit to Mt Bachelors.
5. ENOCH.

Well, wish you all a great Monday before Christmas.


- posted by bill @ 4:44 AM (0) comments

 
Hillsboro, Oregon

Life has its peaks and valleys, and I am at its valley at the moment in a physical sense. I started to feel a discomfort on my throat a couple of days ago and I kindda brush it off. But it is getting worst. I am going to douse myself with at least 2 teapots of Chrysanthenum tea aka Chi Hua Cha today. Hopefully that will ease my suffering a little bit. When you are down physically everything else follow suits. That is why I think living a healthy life is so important, so you can achieve more in your life. If you are family oriented, by living a healthy life you can enjoy more time with them and cause less burden to them. If you are friends oriented, you can hang out more with them and will not transfer any germ to them. And if you are God oriented, then you can do more of His works and enjoy more of his Grace and Blessings.
So I guess the take home message is, whatever your center is, live a healthy life. But of course like it or not, you will be down in the valley once in a while. I like this quote by Voltaire.

" Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us."

My roomate Aang is very like this. When he is suffering physically, I always see him fight it with all his life to get out of it. I’ve never seen him sick for more than a couple of days. Me on the other hand is weak sauce, I tends to linger for a few weeks with my pain. I remembered the last time I had sore throat, I was coughing like crazy for almost 3 weeks.

I asked God this question this morning…”God if I weep, will you weep with me? and if I laugh will you be laughing alongside with me?” He later put another question in my mind…”Should I weep when God is weeping, or should He weep when I am weeping?” Who is the creator and who is the creation here? If God weep, we definitely should weep with Him, if we weep and He weep with us that is called Grace. If my Mom weep, I will definitely weep with her. Because she is my mom. But if I weep, and my mom weep with me, that is her amazing love for me.

I’ve been pondering about the difference between Grace and Blessings. I read in Yancey book an illustration about frog. In the process of understnading the frog, students made dissection, incission, cuts, and in the process killing the frog all together. So I will just enjoy grace and blessings and not try to understand them. I don’t want to kill my blessings and grace.

I have a favor to ask all of you that is reading this blog, please pray for a huge storm on Mt Hood. Let it have a white out for an extended period of time, so the town can enjoy the grace of winter economy once more and also I can enjoy the grace of winter fun once more. Amennnnn

- posted by bill @ 10:10 PM (0) comments